1 Generating fear, anger and guilt may increase your tension making it difficult to sleep, rest and enjoy life. Understand your flight/fight/freeze responses, get rid of adrenaline with optimistic thinking habits, debriefing, exercise, relaxation and distraction.
2 Correct imbalances between your demands and resources; close the gap by reducing demands or increasing resources. Manage your Tension Tank, and if need, get extra support from your partner, GP, psychologist, specialist, accountant, friends, community, colleagues, family, etc. It's OK to ask for help.
3 Focus on goals and action plans that include changing your thinking and doing habits, and choose which habits you will Stop, Start and Continue. Know your rights as well as other people's, practise what you preach, and use your strengths not your weaknesses.
4 Understand how you can create your own unhappiness through crooked thinking and self–defeating behaviour. Use better thinking skills by being aware of common thinking mistakes, signs of self-sabotage, your travel companions, attributional style, etc. Practice optimism and play your winners.
5 Choose better coping strategies, practise assertiveness, embrace change, reduce procrastination, and be prepared to fail occasionally. Focus on priorities, learning, skills, personal development, the journey, and life experience.
6 Schedule regular pleasant events, look your best, and practise good sleeping and diet habits. Develop a motto to live by, some house rules, hobbies and interests, and review them regularly, get connected and stay connected. Use a diary, calendar and year planner, get organised and stay organised. Reduce the clutter and chaos in your environment and life.
7 Remember you are unique, worthwhile and alive, so create purpose and meaning for yourself and others. Don’t be afraid to experiment, be creative and try alternative ways of dealing with challenging problems.
8 Have something to look forward to everyday if possible, and include a good balance of rest, recreation and work activity. Use rewards, reminders, write important things down on paper, use positive reinforcements to sustain your motivation. Energise by breaking down big tasks into very small steps and then experience small successes along the way that will spur you on.
9 Get better at reducing your tension, calming yourself, and listen to your body and mind. Try to discover what produces happiness, pleasure and joy for you and others. Create more passion in your life by going deeper in your Learning, Dreaming and Doing.
10 Good relationships are valuable, and like bank accounts they need deposits as well as withdrawals. Practise psychological reciprocity, use the 2 G's and live the 7 habits.
For more than 20 years Vic Bolger and Associates have successfully partnered with many organisations to provide quality counselling and consulting services.
Founder Vic Bolger has a BA in Psychology and Economics from Swinburne University, and Post-Graduate Diploma in Counselling with distinction from RMIT University.
Vic Bolger founded his reputation as a psychologist working with Morgan & Banks and the Monash Medical Centre. Vic provided individual counselling and group support services for hundreds of employees facing organisational change. He has designed and supervised HR support programs in the Electricity, Water, Gas, Health, and Local Govt sectors in Victoria, South Australia and Tasmania.
No charges apply with a Medicare Mental Health referral from your Doctor.
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